brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
