Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
