there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
