Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The power of my boobs compel you
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