She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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