Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
