Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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