You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
