If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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