STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
