went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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