im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
