the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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