O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
