put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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