You can't motorboat a personality
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
