South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize