he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
