She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
