i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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