I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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