did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
