Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Swine flu. Run for my life!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
