i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
