Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
