He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
