she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
