i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
