idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize