I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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