"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
