but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
