I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
