i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
