I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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