we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
