but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
