if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
