Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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