She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
