just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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