She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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