Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
