Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
