remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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