Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
