hotel room ftw
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize