Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
