Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
