PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
