My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
