I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
