What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
