You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
