You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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