Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
