You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
