I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize