it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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