mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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